I must commence with an important disclaimer. I do not represent the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or its members. My opinions are my own, and I take responsibility for them as such.
One of the great mentors in my life was a man named Nathan. When I worked for Gold Cross Ambulance Nathan was a Paramedic/Trainer. I had several opportunities to work with him, and we had many good conversations. One of the things I liked most about Nathan was that he cared about people. He treated patients with a high level of respect and dignity. As a trainer he would tutor every fine detail until each student understood and could perform the life savings tasks required of a medical provider. We have both since moved onto separate career and life paths. But I think if you asked him today, he would consider us dear friends. At least I hope.
Nathan is not the only gay friend I have had, or gay person that has had a positive impact in my life. I don’t think I stand alone as the only Mormon to appreciate the good works of many regardless of their differences in religious views, political ideologies, and/or sexual orientation. Any person, Mormon or otherwise, who belittles, mocks, degrades, or persecutes another due to the aforementioned differences is guilty of sin, and in need of repentance.
A few semesters ago, while enrolled in a “diversity” course, my teacher basically told me that, based off my views on homosexuality, I hated gay people. It was an ugly and hurtful accusation. He asked me, “Do you really think you can separate the sinner from the sin?” He went on to explain that by being at variance with somebody’s homosexual tendencies or behavior, I was “denying them their present reality.” I think he was trying to convey that in order to love somebody you have to accept everything they are, and everything they do.
I am reminded of an episode of Cosby when Theo decides that he’s not going to college. His Father, Dr. Hukstable, is clearly opposed to this decision and tries to convince Theo that he’s making the wrong choice. Theo says, “I thought about what you said, and I see your point. But I have a point to. You’re a Doctor, and mom’s a Lawyer, and your both successful and everything, and that’s great. But maybe I was born to be a regular person, and have a regular life. If you weren’t a Doctor, I wouldn’t love you less, because you’re my Dad. And so, instead of acting disappointed because I’m not like you, maybe you can just accept who I am and love me anyway, because I’m your son.” The audience claps and cheers at Theo’s remarks. Dr. Hukstable then responds, “Theo, that’s the DUMBEST thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”
You can very well love somebody while simultaneously finding unacceptable the things that they do. Responding to my teacher’s comment; if it were not possible to love the sinner, but hate the sin, then God, the Father of us all, would not love us. “All have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” God is a perfect being who hates sin, which we all posses to one degree or another, but He still loves us. He does not accept our sinful state, and has given us a means to escape it. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son.” Thus we see that even the most loving being of all does not “accept us for who we are,” so to speak. He loves us too much for that.
I think President Hinkley said it best. "People inquire about our position on those who consider themselves so-called gays and lesbians. My response is that we love them as sons and daughters of God. They may have certain inclinations which are powerful and which may be difficult to control. Most people have inclinations of one kind or another at various times. If they do not act upon these inclinations, then they can go forward as do all other members of the Church. If they violate the law of chastity and the moral standards of the Church, then they are subject to the discipline of the Church, just as others are"
I sympathize with those who desire to align themselves with God’s commandments, and struggle with the “inclinations” mentioned by President Hinkley. I can’t imagine desiring to serve God, feeling those affections towards another, and know that acting upon said inclinations would be considered sin in His sight. It becomes a struggle as a Mormon Christian to see and feel the goodness of people who consider themselves gay or lesbian, and yet know with a certainty that homosexual behavior, or any other unchaste behavior, is not right in His sight. It is one of the least of my desires to give offense, but it is an ever lesser desire to betray my God by not standing for truth and righteousness. Perhaps one day my two desires will not be paradoxical.
